Yell help, too many cooks and a bird in the bush, yell help
Yell help, if your mirror busts and your cat gets cussed, yell help
Cause down the road you find someone else whos looking
Down the road you find another sweet lady cooking
So I gotta yell help
Yell help, some shelter from the storm like the travel agent warned
Yell help, if you can help your superstitions they gonna keep you warm
Cause down the road you find someone else whos looking
Down the road you seen another sweet lady cooking
So I gotta yell help
I wish tonight wasnt Wednesday night
I wish it wasnt the thirteenth of July, yell help
And youre looking at the guy whose eyes cant deny
That he wishes he were somewhere else tonight
Well I met this woman down in New Orleans
Lord she built just like a dream
Even wore stockings that had seams
And she was ugly
Now hell I dont mind women of her kind
Ill even pay sometimes for a woman thats ugly
She built like a steamroller
Just the kind to mow you over anytime
Hey the moment might arrive
On bourbon street
Well the ugliest woman youll ever meet
But shes mine all mine and shes ugly
So I better yell help
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